OUTBURSTS & STAINERS

CRAZY COAST

Perched here on the northwest corner of Planet Earth its important; what or why, I dont know, but its important. Blubbery seal blobs gutting crates of endangered mackerel, lardy, constipated whales throwing their weight around on the beer foam ocean, whiplashing, grandstanding worse than tightassed mayors of insufferable Japanese fishing villages. It matters. Riptides ripping apart over-budget concrete breakwaters, insane storms climbing crumbling cliffs, goosing granite, planting salt hickeys on delicate dolphin necks. Out here, Vicious rightwing hawks tear into grossly overmatched mice, superpatriotic eagles steamroll bloodspattered little rabbits, mentally challenged geysers keep wheezing out the same boring blowholes over and over, inert abalone grip koala-nosed boulders with crazy glue suction. Here in Gods country, Braindead boulders roll onto the continental shelf like hardboiled eggs, seaweed go berserk, incessant songs by the offkey surf drive you slowly nuts. Yes this is the seacoast. Where a big pink bowling ball drops over a redhot chili horizon, where pigeon persistent San Diego dentists search for retirement property in gigantic SUVs, where unemployed seagulls gather on dappled outcrops squawkiing Marxist slogans against environmental protection cutbacks. Along this crazy coast, Fried clams race through hormone clogged tidepools, drift logs pile topsyturvy like links of spilled hotdogs, an acne cream of seaspray coats pimply gray rock. Because this is it folks, end of the continent, Nature on the rocks; land disappearing to the surf beats ancient rhythm; the place where we first crawled from the watery womb, first encountered the orange peel covered tideline. Tokyo, Mon. 10/24/05