POSTMODERN RELIGION
But are we ready. Are we prepared for a future where the Eucharist, Koran and Talmud give way to schizoid messiahs, buzzsaw mullahs and the .357 collection plate. What can religion offer seekers evolving into a non-flesh species, disembodied intellects determined to beam off a rotting planet about to be recycled. Cyberchrist dies atop the grassy knoll, blown up by a fertilizer bomb detonated by a celebrity-stalking postman living in a remote rural cabin. Nietzsches death-of-God perspective signifies the arrival of hundreds or thousands of channel charges every evening, but traditionalists refuse to accept postmodern globalisms antifoundational pastiche; Refuse a world where people live in a cartoon environment defined by 10 second commercials for 5 minute fads. Or, as a network executive says: Look, weve done surveys, and we found people are boobs; Nothing but lobotomized calciumlosing puppets, sitting in front of their tvs like existential fried eggs on an activated electric chair. As viewers switch channels 22 times a minute, Jewish, Catholic and Muslim fundamentalists try to restore a permanent stable reality of locusts, malignant sores, public flogging, and the National Socialist Virgin Mary. The collapse of absolute ideas produces cultural chaos and a spiritual vacuum of religious channel surfing, but simultaneously opens up new possibilities of electronic epiphany. The Virtual Vatican website serves the on-line faithful by denying Church ties to Mexican narco-charities. Islamic Gateway advises Muslims about male circumcision and how to conduct their own suicide bombings. Eye-for-an-Eye promotes Israeli interests by justifying F-16 attacks on refugee camps and presenting hour-long informercials like Ariel Sharon: Rock and Roll Prime Minister. Which leads to the question: If Jesus had access to the Internet, would he have needed the twelve apostles. Forward-looking church leaders confront the frenetic sense of hyperconsumption and inauthentication of worldwide entertainment technology with cross-fertilized spiritual innovations and faith-based Information Age packaging. Roman Catholic cybernetic satori competes for attention with Judeo-Muslim wide-angle liberation. The Deepdish Church of the Electronically Preselected provides answers beside The Radial Temple of the Ninja Deconstructionists. Then theres ENTER THE PONTIFF, where Pope John Bruce II forms a secret society to roll back the liberal reforms of Bruce John I. Finally, the end of man-made horizons brings implanted consciousness and celebrity salvation: Operation Provide Meaning conducted by The King of Pop: moonwalking, exploiting religious insecurities, reciting world peace pieties while pumping his fist and grabbing his crotch.Tokyo Sun 05/20/01